*Finds cool clothing item on Etsy or in some ‘Gothic’ clothing store*

Size: Small/Medium AKA tiny.

I guess women who are wide, or in my case extremely tall, are just not supposed to be looking for ‘pretty’ clothes like the 5% of the female population that is traditionally ideal petite and girlish. You know, because all tall women starve themselves to achieve perfect figures so ones like me with big shoulders and an actual stomach are just unicorns. It makes perfect sense not to increase your clothing’s width as you get into taller sizes. There’s no way being tall creates an optical illusion of thinness that allows me to have more weight on my frame, rendering all of your sizes into nothing but powdered fashionable bullshit. For women Big and Tall obviously means Anorexic Fairy and not Big and Tall. 

Can you feel the sarcasm radiating from my body?